darkjewelz (darkjewelz) wrote,
darkjewelz
darkjewelz

Warning: moan.

I don't like to moan too much on LJ coz I fugure "who wants to hear about all the bad bits?" but today I'm thinking "what the hell." Today LJ can be my invisible counsellor to whom I can let off steam.

I got up this morning and pulled my intercostal muscles. I feel like a butterfly that's had its wings pulled off. I've had back problems for days due to sitting at the computer. This happens from time to time. It gives me a splitting headache. I've had a pretty much continuous headache for weeks but I don't like taking pain killers because they upset my stomach. Regadless of taking painkillers or not, I've had indigestion several times a week now for months.

I seem to always be tired. I get up in the morning and I'm tired. I'm tired in the afternoon, I'm tired in the evening. I'm always effing tired and I do nothing except sit at the computer all day. Maybe that's why eh. I know I should go to the gym, but at the moment it feels like I can't afford to take the time off.

I've just realised  I have to rewrite an entire paper. I made a mistake about the content, spent ages on it, and now may as well scrap it.

I'm sick of this house. Its small, dark and claustrophobic. Both of us are here, all day, everyday, which is claustrophobic in itself. Its freezing in the winter and boiling and stuffy in the summer (like now). There's too much stuff in here (little stuff by most people's standards, just too little space to put it in) and it's an enormous effort to keep the place tidy. Half my day seems to vanish tring to kep the house in an acceptble state. Endless cooking, wasing up, clothes washing ect. Just keeping these things in order eems to involve so much effort.

I'm starting to feel like the walls are closing in around me. Going away  only seems to make it worse as I become unused to it. It so nice and sunny, I want to be out there. I'm hoping we can go to Avebury later but it looks like the weather's going to be shit.
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